Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

• You will always find some Eskimos ready to instruct the Congolese on how to cope with heat waves.
• Hay smells different to lovers and horses.
• Do not ask God the way to heaven; he will show you the hardest one.
• The window to the world can be covered by a newspaper.
• You can die on St. Helena without being Napoleon.
• Many a boomerang does not return but chooses freedom instead.
• Always turn to strange gods; they will listen to you out of turn.
• On the neck of a giraffe a flea begins to believe in immortality.
• He who shouts “Long live” has to pay for the funeral.
• Even a flounder takes sides.
• If you are not a psychiatrist, stay away from idiots. They are too stupid to pay a layman for his company.
• From a review: “The poet showed noble poverty of thought.”
• A lobster blushes after it dies; what rare subtlety in a victim!
• I prefer the sign NO ENTRY to the one that says NO EXIT.
• I once saw a miracle – just when we could have done without one.
• Witches admitted their relations with the devil. Our blood boils – how could they be forced to admit this when there is no devil. But reason tells us this is not true. The devil does exist and was in fact the inquisitor.